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| I have recently been reminded as to how fickle one's beauty can be. But before I go into the details of my thought process, lets preface this entry with a philosophy of mine: Taking Descartes' famous quote "Cogito, Ergo Sum" (English: "I think therefore I am") to a slightly different angle, I believe that your mind is a function of the mathematics of the mass around you and the library of knowledge that was spoon fed to you since you a merely a zygote. Your mind machine operates by observing groups of mass attached and formed in different ways (inputs) such as tangible objects, movements, facial expressions; runs it through your nervous system and projects an image into your brain (output), which are then interpreted in a way in which you were taught i.e. a chair, running, happy. These interpretations are more commonly known as your 'thoughts'. So, in essance, how you are taught to interpret one thing may not be how I was taught to interpret the same thing. Your "blue" may not be my "blue", but we are both taught to believe that that certain shade/mixture of colour is called "blue". We call this difference perception - a ubiquitous act that is commonly overlooked. Now how does perception come into play with our day to day lives? So many people have shed tears or done unfathomable acts based what one's mind has made them believe as fact. Last weekend a friend of mine went to a bar wearing slacks and a t-shirt. She walked out a couple hours later with a contract with a model agency, a ride home from a sexy celeb she met there and a grin that stretched from ear to ear. She was on top of the world. She was beautiful. The following week, she walks into the same bar, dressed the same, and stayed there all night. The only things she got was ignored by the hot celeb, drinks spilled all over her and a velvet rope slapped between her and the VIP area she hung out at last week. Not so hot afterwall. She was unbeautiful. Now lets break the situation down into inputs and outputs. The girl is the input - she is a mathematical grouping of mass formed in a specific way that will be observed by herself as well as others. In more colloquial terms, this can be referred to as your "looks". Other inputs in this scenario would be the bar, the VIP area, the other people in the bar. It may also be helpful to know that the inputs are constants, or at least does not change within a short period of time. The first night, the girl observes that she is getting attention from the hot celeb (another input). His actions run through her nervous system and projects an image on her brain that she proceeds to interpret as positive. This positive thought then opens a library of other thoughts that ultimately boils down to the direction of beautiful. The second night, the girl (input) is still the same, the hot celeb gives her the same attention but as a result of the different mixture of thoughts that occurred that day (whether it is the drinks spilled on her, or some other misinterpreted event), his same reaction projects a negative image on her brain. This negative thought ultimately leads her to think that she is not beautiful. Of course it makes a lot of sense that its all just 'thoughts' and one does not become beautiful/unbeautiful overnight, but we all must agree that it is so easy to let intangible thoughts conclude on tangible constants. We always accept these 'thoughts' as fact, because it is just naturally impossible to differentiate what you know from what you think. I think therefore I am. It always comes back to economics - the natural cyclical cycle of booms and busts in which we are all forever prone to but will never get used to. There are days where you are an overvalued stock and your thoughts bring you to believe that you are on top of the world, and there are days in which your stuck underwater. But no matter what your thoughts bring you to believe, your market value always fluctuates around a medium in which is your 'true' value. This 'true' value is your input. Which makes me ponder. if your true value is your input, but your market value fluctuates around it, does your 'true' value really matter? Should it really matter? Probably not. Because you are what you believe. You control your beauty. Now go have fun with it! | | |
| I came about thinking about gifts today, and I pondered to myself why I spend so much money on expenses rather than purchasing something that would last. Why do I choose to buy tickets to a golf tournament over a new set of clubs? Then I came to realise that spending money on doing things goes hand in hand with purchasing time to spend somewhere, with someone, and that is the intangible that any durable present can never outlast. It is something that if you forgot to buy, you can't go back to buy it again. | | |
| Like the genetic make up of one's visual features, everyone has an inherited set of circumstances in which they are given and cannot be changed. Whether it is talent, financial circumstance, or nurture, it must be understood that the circle of influence that draws the set of limits can never be overcome. The definition of having the power to succeed is to achieve a tangible goal that one has set for themselves, no matter the circumstance; and most of the time that is correct. But most people fail to understand that achievement is not an end in itself, but a means to an end. Parents push their children to do things that they failed to do when they were a child, a marathon runner will deny their strength to chase a dream that can never emerge, a former beauty queen will binge on ipecac until she ends up in the hospital. What they all have forgotten is that strength comes from understanding and making the most out of the circumstance that you are given, and when the time is right, to have the courage to accept change. Like Confucius once said "the only constant, is change". Most long term success comes from short term failures. Such as by admitting ones intentions, ulterior motives, which will initially place them in a "weaker" position, which in fact made them stronger. But most people are so focussed on what is lost, that they forget all the new possibilities that accepting failture has provided for them. Instead of moving in the one dimensional line that was blocked by the walls of circumstance, the understanding provided a vision of the infinite directions, possiblilities that this new dimention has provided. And once that is understood, success will always come from filling the area of ones potential, circle of influence, and not to try to penetrate it. On the flip side, failure is seen as when one does not succeed. Little do we realise is that happiness is not difficult to come by, because it cannot be given to us, but a decision made by only the person alone. The emotion from which this failure creates is most of the time, the main reason why it is just that much easier to give up. We all have one goal disguised in the form of many penultimate goals. To want to become successful in your career is no different to wanting to travel the world. To want to win a 100m sprint is the same as wanting to forever live in solitude. But to succeed in all of these goals are means from which to put oneself in the right direction towards the final goal, of long term happiness. | | |
| A random somebody once said "The best things happen when you least expect it". A lot of people go by that phrase and can personally empathise with the situation. In fact, a lot of things happen that hit you by "surprise", a returned phone call, an old tune played at the right time, a surprisingly good party, a lucky break. Happens to the best of us. What we all don't realise is that things happen on a day to day constant pace, barely affected by the flap of a butterfly's wing. The only thing that changes is your perception of things, and your perception of things are altered by changes in your expectations. So when something happens when you lease expect it, it feels like a "lucky break". Whereas on the contrary, if you read the script that determined your life, your life just just as well be a "routine work day" even though you did something different everyday. The most memorable things happen when you lease expect them to. I once read a psych experiment about psychics and how the brain can trick you into believing them. Remember when you once thought your boss only remembers all the bad things you have done and never recognizes all your good work? It works the same way, except you only remember the things the psychic just happened to have guessed correctly. Sometimes, the 3 out of 10 times that was guessed correctly just happens to be that much more believable. But maybe that is what we need in life - to believe what we want to believe. | | |
| So here I am, in the shell of my 23 year old body, sitting in the office and wondering where the fuck to allocate my 401k contributions. Looking back at old emails and old messages, it is good to be reminded once in a while what an amazing past you have left behind. A trail of memories that have left footsteps in other people's hearts, incidences that have changed people's lives, and amongst many things, the things that you remember having chosen not to pursue. I am afterall in New York City, and it still feels surreal. I have just celebrated my first year anniversary in the city and the slowly chilling weather only reminds me of when I started here. Every year, the changing weather reminds me of where I was last year. In 2005, I reminisced about college. This year I reminisce about my fearless days of being a first year, and the stupid things I said and forgot. Everyone has a pocket full of memories, and it is your choice as to whether you want them to be happy or sad. Feeling grateful is a choice, and luck mostly depends on your perception of it. What you remember is what has happened in the past, and things that happened in the past are things that will never change. | | |
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